I've Got No Strings (iGNS): Pilot Episode

You know that feeling you get when someone starts to tell you about their up-coming trip to Australia, and how it's going to be even better than their trip to South Africa (where they got to attend a few world-cup soccer matches) -- and how even though you kinda hate soccer and never really have the ambition to leave the U.S., you find yourself thinking "I hate people like that!" out of jealousy?

I've never actually felt that way.

At least, not for more than 60 seconds. 

It takes me about that long to remember I'm often accused of being "people like that". I may not make my way over seas, but I put a lot of time and miles into other destinations. In fact, my recent disappearance from this scene has been due to 5 separate get-aways I've had since May. My domestic traveling has made for several great stories, many of which deserve their own posts  - -  which brings me to another instalment of a soon-to-be-fave series. This one I call: iGNS.


I have always loved the song from Disney's Pinochio, "I've got no strings". Especially the 3rd verse - It's like it was written about me! Herein lies the significance to this series' title: 

I’ve got no strings so I have fun, I’m not tied up to anyone.
They've got strings but you can see,
There are no strings on me!

So without further adeau, Episode 1: Road Trip to Nowhere (Pilot)

About a year ago now, myself and 2 friends met up for dinner to catch up and talk about the woes of working and dating. Much like we all do, we vocally fantasized about the idea of running away. Just picking up and leaving. No forwarding address, no saying when we'd return.  The only difference between this night a year ago and every other night like it? We were 95% more serious than usual. 


One of my friends, Judy* (*name changed for the sake of protecting identities of the innocent)  had previously created a bucket list -PLUG: I highly endorse these!- and one of her goals was a trip to nowhere... to just get in the car and drive. No plans. No destination. Just explore. This seemed like a perfect fit to our wild ambitions of running away. So with our new resolve, we decided a time to meet up a week later, which we did. We had pillows, blankets, junk food, Twinkies (which are their own classification of junk food), iPods, and a something that could only be described as "insanity", so we hit the road. We had no idea where we were going, we just picked a direction (North) and drove.


We spent the most exhilarating 55 hours on the road, ever.  These are the highlights;


5 hours in;  



A little of our excitement had started to wane, especially as stomachs started to growl. (Twinkies weren't very appetizing in that moment). We decided to stop for food. In the first "big city" we came to we found a random car show at a local burger joint. We ate the greasiest of burgers - all the while oogling Mustangs and their owners. I was tempted to place money on a hot-wheels race they had set up for kids, but thought better of it and walked away. With full stomachs our status quo had been restored, and we were on the road again.


11 hours in;



We had gotten a late start in the day because of work schedules, so it was close to 3am when "the wall" started to hit. You know "the wall", the one that literally shuts your body down without permission? Makes you start to maybe hallucinate? Yeah... we were seeing spaceships (Later, in the daylight, we discovered these were turbines). Clearly the wall had affected all three of us, so we stopped at the first hotel we found. A Motel 6, now endearingly referred to as "Hooker Motel". ----- Why Hooker Motel, you ask? Because we were NOT hallucinating when we sent in Dee (*also innocent and staying that way) to pay for the room and watched as two young ladies left two young men in the parking lot to go pay, in CASH, for TWO rooms, only to watch them separate and "check in" minus luggage. Also. I'm pretty sure this was the most disgusting hotel I've ever stayed in. The lady behind the bullet proof (STD proof) glass promised she would give us the room that "didn't smell as weird" (AS weird? wtf?) In fact, since the room had a smell, she wouldn't charge us the $3 extra dollars for the 3rd adult, but she just couldn't discount the mini fridge in the room, so she tacked on $3 dollars for a fridge that only kept my luggage from the lice (crab) infested carpet... I was too tired to catch on that I was being screwed (no pun intended) out of a good deal here. I'm telling you, I was afraid of venereal disease just by association. We slept, if you can call it that, for about 4 hours then left - never to return. 



19 hours in; 

Judy has connections with a major league baseball team in the next big city we found, and was able to get us some free tickets which usually makes my male friends drool with jealousy. We were situated right behind home plate, about 10 rows up. I had a nice view of the batters' bum... and given my lack of interest in major league baseball, that's about all I chose to watch. While we were at the game we met up with some other connections we had in town. Locals. And we asked for a little self guided tour.



21 hours in; 


We found ourselves walking through a HUGE open fish market and swap meet. It was amazing to watch fish fly, smell different varieties of fry break, and hear hippies play Ocarinas-- it was almost sensual overload. But. I would say the most fun to see was this incredible piece of vandalism/art in a alley below the market. For years people would dispose of their ABC gum (c'mon, you know, Allready Been Chewed) on this wall in this alley. What resulted was about half a city block, 20 feet high, speckled in every color and flavor gum imaginable. Of course we had to leave our mark! I posed for a few pictures which have since been the controversial topic of conversation among other friends. (Okay, maybe I "kissed" the wall! Big deal!) But I will tell you the same thing I tell those nay-sayers! I would definitely risk herpasyfulitis (<herpa-seffa-litus> that's herpes, syfullous, and hepatitis, rolled into one) to touch the wall again. But maybe my judgement is just a little skewed after having stayed at the "Hooker Motel"....? *Shrug* -- Oh well. 




... TO BE CONTINUED. 


In the next episode! --- The trip to nowhere is continued with; A town made famous by a book, Gun shots at the Norman Bates Motel, The most beautiful beach on the north west coast, Waterfalls from my childhood, and more on Twinkies. 


++ Please comment your interest in seeing this series continued. 


-Mag